Leadership, Language & Labels: The Problem & Opportunity
A handful of people in my peer group have labeled me as having a “strong personality.” This doesn't feel complimentary—it feels more like, "Be cautious about how you present yourself." And it’s got me thinking.
Do men get told this?
I spend most of my time in male-dominated spaces—running a creative agency in the manufacturing and automotive industries and networking through EO (Entrepreneurs’ Organization), where I’m often one of the few women in the room. Hell, I even live in a male-dominated house, raising two amazing boys. So, don’t get me wrong—I’m comfortable in these spaces. I’ve worked hard to be here and know I bring value.
But I struggle with the feedback I get—not from strangers, but from these peers and friends—who tell me I have a strong personality or talk too much.
At first, I brushed it off. But the more I heard it, the more I wondered… would a man in my position ever get the same critique?
Because I can’t remember when someone said, “That guy just has such a strong personality.” Instead, men are called confident. Assertive. Decisive. They’re leaders. Trailblazers. But when women display those same traits, the language shifts. We’re intense. Aggressive. Too much.
And here’s the kicker—I’m not mad about being called strong. I am strong. I’ve built a seven-figure business from nothing, made tough calls, and pushed through obstacles that could have easily made me quit. But the way that phrase is being used makes me pause. It feels like an attempt to shrink me. To suggest that I should soften, dilute, or round out my edges so I’m more palatable.
Since it’s Women’s History Month, I can’t help but reflect on the women before me—leaders, change-makers, and pioneers—who were likely told the same thing. Women like Eleanor Roosevelt, Ruth Bader Ginsburg, and Madam C.J. Walker weren’t soft or agreeable when they shattered barriers. They were strong. They were bold. And yes, they were probably told they “talk too much” more times than we’ll ever know.
But here’s the thing—this isn’t just about women. It’s about how all of us use language, assumptions, and unspoken expectations to decide who should be leading the conversation.
It plays out in business, leadership, and everyday interactions. A male CEO can be direct and decisive—it’s expected. But if a woman at the table does the same, she risks being labeled difficult. Meanwhile, men are also boxed into roles where they’re expected to be dominant and unemotional, which can also stifle their ability to communicate openly.
And let’s be honest—no one wins when people feel like they have to walk on eggshells or downplay who they are.
That’s why I believe communication is everything. It’s the only way we can build real connections. If we stay silent—whether out of fear, expectation, or exhaustion—we lose the opportunity to understand each other.
This month is about honoring the fearless women who came before us, but it’s also about making sure everyone—women, men, and those who feel unheard—knows they don’t have to apologize for taking up space. So, I’m committing to owning my strength—not just for me, but for everyone who has ever been told to dim their light.
I’d rather be strong than stay silent—especially when advocating for those who don’t have a voice or a seat at the table.
And I hope anyone reading this—regardless of gender—chooses to use their voice, too.
What do you think? Have you ever been labeled with a strong personality—and did it feel like a compliment or a warning? Let’s keep this conversation going.
